Grown and Sane!

This is an essay I wrote in my Freshman year, actually won first place for this one.

Grown and Sane.

Growing up I had two so called families. My mother’s and my father’s. I was the only kid in the neighborhood whose parents were divorced. All the rest of the kids thought I was lucky, two homes meant twice the gifts, right? Well, I didn't see it that way. Today I feel very blessed that I even survived my childhood. I sometimes wish that I didn't remember so much about it.

After the divorce, it wasn't long before both of my parents remarried. By the time I was five, I had two new families and I didn't fit in with either one of them. Both my mom and dad were too busy, making sure that the 'new' spouse and kids felt at home, to spend any time with me. Losing my bedroom at my dad's was just the beginning of me being pushed aside to make room for the new families. The only time I was really paid attention to was when my mother or father fought through me, or when someone needed a power trip and so decided to abuse me to make themselves feel better.

At my mother's house, her new husband brought me two new older step-brothers who didn't take long to decide that I was only good for their pleasure. My mom didn't even notice and if she did, she didn't care enough to do anything about it. Her husband took a new interest in me only after I hit puberty, then I couldn't get him to leave me alone. So at fourteen, I decided to move in with my dad. Big mistake! Talk about from the frying pan into the fire. I went from physical danger right into verbal and emotional danger. My step-mother did NOT like the idea of me living there. All through my childhood she had been trying to convince me that my father didn't love me because I wasn't pretty enough or good enough; after all he had to get a new family didn't he? To this day, I still don’t know which was worse; the physical and sexual abuse or the verbal and emotional abuse. I have deep scars from both.

Despite the efforts of those who subjected me to things that no child should ever have to endure; I’ve managed to grow up and not be an abuser myself. I am reaching for goals that I didn’t think I was good enough to reach for. I’ve found my pathway and I’m determined to follow it. It won’t be an easy road, but what is worth having isn’t necessarily easy. My life is mine to live and I fully intend to live it the very best way I can. I do my best to instill good morals, honorable expectations, and a generous sense of caring and goodness into my children. I desire to pass on a legacy of integrity, respect, and loving kindness to my children.

And that is how I have overcome the greatest obstacle I have ever faced: My childhood. I’ve won against those who would harm me by being a better person, passing on only positive attributes, and by growing up sane.